Posts Tagged Golf

Go on…be a Tiger

Interesting times for poor old Tiger Woods.  A tree, a fire hydrant and his wife wielding an (I imagine) expensive golf club…another quiet night in for the great man himself.

But it did occur to me that my old employer Accenture – who feature Woods in all our current brand advertising – must be looking on with particular interest as this plays out.  After all, we (it’ll aways be “we” after 10 great years) chose the Tiger as the centrepiece of all of our advertising since 2003 because: “As perhaps the world’s ultimate symbol of high performance, he serves as a metaphor for our commitment to helping companies become high-performance businesses”.

I’m sure the details of what happened will all will become clear in good time and as long the Tiger is physically ok….but I wonder if those in charge of the Accenture print advertising campaign haven’t spotted an opportunity here.

What odds on a new Accenture print ad featuring a prostrate Tiger on his driveway, damaged tree, fire hydrant and jeep in background with Mrs Woods in frame wielding that golf club. And of course the slogan:

“It’s what you do next that counts”.

That Fire Hydrant has made such a damn mess

That Fire Hydrant has made such a damn mess















Surely a winner……I mean what could go wrong? So – go on Accenture (and Mr Woods) do it, put it out there, send to print…be a Tiger!

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Operation Bunker Storm? Not likely

Over the years we’ve had many interesting theories on the important matter of geopolitics and the trends that underpin them. A more important subject it is hard to imagine. But it was with a slightly raised monobrow that I read in Newsweek that Dr Richard Haass, the rightly esteemed head of the US Government’s Council on Foreign Relations, has suggested that: “Countries that have numerous golf courses tend to be friendlier toward the United States. Governments closing golf courses tend to be the most anti-American of all. Think of it as the fairway theory of history”.

It’s a theory a bit like Thomas Friedman’s now unfortunately disproven MacDonald’s theory of international conflict without that strange feeling of elation followed by nausea and self loathing associated with a Ronald McDonald feast-fest (or international conflict in a theatre of war I am led to believe).

Anyway. Its definitely an interesting piece and thought provoking (up to a point) but a couple of points I couldn’t help but note:

  • Dr Haass suggests that the “clearest evidence of how far things have changed (in relations between Vietnam and the US) may be the Ho Chi Minh Golf Trail, a route that connects more than a half-dozen luxury golf courses and resorts”. Now, that’s certainly interesting as an indicator of Vietnam’s burgeoning “free” socialist market economy, but to suggest it’s “the clearest evidence of how far things have changed”between the two nations seems a bit of a stretch. I was in Vietnam in 2006 and while in Hue was accosted by a group of young woman who were studying gender issues associated with the recitation and pronunciation of English language “tongue twisters” (they referred to them as “tangle twisters” but I didn’t have the heart….)*. A measure of how far things have changed – undoubtedly I think but not as evident surely as the fact that its economic growth had been among the highest in the world in the past decade, that it joined the World Trade Organization in 2007 and its successful bid to become a non-permanent member of the United Nations Security Councilin 2008.  Now if only Tiger Woods late father Earl had nicknamed him ‘Tiger’ after a Northern rather than Southern Vietnamese soldier – that would have be real geopolitical golfing progress


  • Apparently there are “reportedly just three courses”in North Korea as opposed to 324 in US friendly neighbour South Korea. Now can’t we get Google maps to just resolve this count to the satisfaction of all – I harbor a dream of Kim Jong-il striding the fairways and dropping a seven iron stone dead from 120 yards before sinking a pint of North Korean Guinness equivalent in a Darren Clarke style from the 19th balcony as Hugo Chavez invokes the spirit of the Battle of Brookline leading the frenzied mob in chants of “USA, USA”.


So, all us golfers in golf playing nations can tonight rest easy in the knowledge that we are a people of progressive putters, democratic drivers and liberal loft wedges (I struggled with the last one). But neither we, Mr Haass or the good people of Scotland should rest too easy. For once upon a time, in the country where the modern game is credited as being invented by shepherds hitting stones into rabbit holes at St Andrews, golf was banned entirely – apparently in 1457 people were not practicing their archery and there was threat of attack/war from England.  Now there’s a sobering thought for Alex Salmond and the SNP….imagine it playing out….the struggle for Scottish devolution really turns ugly, spills onto the fairways, the game is banned again to focus the national consciousness on the matter at hand.  And then The White House calls to express it’s concern about the suspension of golf as evidence of a rising tide of anti-Americanism….it could make the fall out from the Al-Megrahi release look like a game of mini-putt. Fore!!!!!

* Here’s a picture of my Vietnamese “tangle twister” incident. Interestingly and defintaely ironically I was asked to repeat the following: “Victor vowed vengeance very vehemently”. Vietnamese tongue twisters vowing vengeance very vehemently….maybe some things haven’t changed after all.


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